Archive for July, 2012

That’s Three Steps…

Today, I took Kydan down to see his Mama Sal and Papa Kirt. We got there in the early afternoon and Kydan started warming up right away. Still just a little shy at first, but then he was crawling everywhere, checking everything out, and generally making himself at home within just a few minutes. His favorite thing today was probably getting to sit on the big console between my folks’ chairs in the living room. He got to hold one of the remote controls and pull tissue out of the Kleenex box over and over again, and Kirt just kept throwing it back on him. He was having a great time!

Later, I was sitting on the side seats with my mom and Kydan took 3 (that’s three steps people!) steps towards me, from a standing position! Wow! How Cool! The timing was right and he had a perfect hand-hold to let go from as he stepped over. Nice smooth steps too! Very proud. 😉

Other than that, he had a  not-so-fun ride home. Very upset for many minutes. Nothing I could really see that was bothering him, he just didn’t want to be in his car seat anymore. Who can blame him? Me either Kydan. Where’s that teleporter I heard about when I was kid? When’s that thing ready? Who knows….maybe during his lifetime.

Did I mention that he took three steps today? 🙂


There is nothing better under the sun than hearing my son laugh and giggle. We visited the Austin Zoo today, the first time for all present, me, Cristine, Michaeloha, and Kydan. Yes, a bit hot, but it was worth it. We rounded the corner from the first few animals, Prairie Dogs, Cockatoos, and Genets and came up to the various monkey houses. Ok, they’re cages too. [Frustrating part of zoo life, is that while educational and exciting, it’s also sad and stark.] The Ring-Tailed Lemurs are what got Kydan going the first time. First Michaeloha enticed them out with his ever-present charisma(!) and then the one Kydan could see ran back and forth from side to side on this long branch. He started giggling right away and kept on laughing for a long time. Pointing and smiling and babbling. Our dogs and kitties don’t move like that! Mmm….remembering his bright face and smile now makes my whole body relax and take a more full breath. Later, it was the rather large goats in the petting corral area. They have very flexible lips, almost prehensile, and when I fed that goat a bit of food, Kydan got to cracking up again. Ahh, it was hot today at the zoo but there is nothing better under the sun….




All photographs used by permission [Cristine East Copyright 2012]

A Call Went Out

Oh great expanse
Ever still and ever moving
Stretching far, small as dust
Hear my call
To be one with the silence
To be one with the shape
And the color
To be reminded of the size
Of nothing and everything
Holding tight to the infinity
Giving up the finite
Is an aim, is an aim
Can the receiver tune me in
Or am I the receiver
The sound or the silence
To be trapped by the mind is ludicrous
To be victimized by the mind, prejudice
Forever capitalizing on my own fears
Never to forgive my past
Freedom, beauty, life
Come from the mind that is unchained
Unbent by the weight of time
And terror
Hear my call, but where
Where will the call be heard
In the mind that sent it out
The mind that picks it up
Is such a mind disturbed by these thoughts
Where does the time stop
The infinity begin, the silence begin
The action without movement, the journey without motion
The love without fear
If I sent out my own call
Am I the only one to hear it
If I merely send it out
Who but me can know to tune in
Who is translating, translating
How to decipher the sounds
Do I trust in my small receiver
Or the Big Receiver
Is it a ‘babblefish’ that I seek
Or simple listening, hearing

And there came to be a man living in a child’s body, full of potential and without direction. Blown as the wind would blow, thrown as the spray of surf ‘gainst the rocks of Time. The desire was hidden; concealed. Without it, he would have died, this man-child, but know of it he did not. As the dawn broke, blue and red and cool a spark lept up. And where the wind had once blown him without thought, now it gave life to the spark. Flaming, burning hot. To consume him and all that he knew. Drowned in the sea of suffering, burned in the fires of hell, the child began to fall behind, ash-covered, smelling of the salty sea. Without this child for once, the man looked behind him; saw no past. Looked to his sides and saw only the shores of Now. Looked ahead and saw the most magnificent Nothing. And in that moment he became clear. Transparent. How had it been? What was to be? All forms moved away and apart, came close and together and over and over they danced. Circles became necklaces of hope and promise. Broken they weaved themselves into clothes of trust and virtue. Worn out they fell to the sky and raised themselves one last time to the fertile soil. Dead he seemed to himself. Littering his own ground floor. And in the earth the reflection of his true greatness emerged. Slowly, painfully, at first, then with something like ease the momentum carried him on and up and out of himself. Out of himself he became greater than the wind and lighter than the surf-spray. Mindless, beautiful to behold, the man walked on. Clothed now in his greatness, all thoughts were actions. These led only to other thoughts which were actions as well. Resting and toiling no longer opposites, felt as sure as the ebb and flow of the tides.

—Ponder East

~The two shall never meet~


A friend recently said, “…if you don’t have hate, you don’t have anything.”

I took that to mean that without a goal, something to push for or against, then I don’t have anything. Love being the opposite of fear, one precludes the other. Find that which is fearful, it is also loveful. Yet, they are not on the same level; one is not the end of the other. Discover the thing that I fear and I will love it too, by transformation. Transformed by my attention and focus, my awareness and consciousness, it becomes my pursuit and passion and joy. What I previously feared, I now love.

Happy 4th of July

Wednesday morning in Round Rock, TX with my family. Watching Sesame Street with our kiddo after his breakfast. Headed out to the pet store later, then a private lesson here at the house, and then gig at The Saxon Pub in South Austin with Shane Pitsch & the Smokestack Revue. What a great way to celebrate being an American!